RG: The Result of Mischief
by chronicler-of-knuckles
Summary: December 2004 (the Hurt Them All Challenge)


TITLE: The Result of Mischief 

He was in agony.

It just wouldn't stop. Like little ants working a trail, it never ceased, never went away, constant, unending... absolutely no relief.

With a groan, little Ezra rolled over on the couch, snuggled deeper under his father's arm. He was hoping he was tucked away far enough that the big man wouldn't notice..."

"He's doin' it again!" J.D. tattled, throwing an accusing finger at him from across the room.

Instantly, Josiah snatched Ezra's wrists and pulled them away from his arms. "Ez..." he warned.

Ezra glared at the younger boy. "Really, Mr. Dunne!" he growled.

Josiah leaned over his son, blocking his line of sight. "Ez, you're gonna tare up your arms." he reprimanded.

"An' make us thinkin' of itchin' too!" J.D. accused, his own fingers reaching for his own arms.

But Nathan quickly caught his little hands. "You, young man, get socks." he informed the five year old.

"Uncle Naaaaate!" J.D. wined, but struggled little as his uncle rolled sock's over the little boy's hands.

Vin chuckled.

Both Ezra and J.D. threw him glares, and Vin quickly disappeared behind his father.

Chris glanced down and back at him, and sighed. "If I were you, I'd move." he warned, before he started to lean back against the door jam that he and his son had been standing in.

Vin scooted out of the way just in time to miss being scrunched as Chris began to rub his back on the edge of the frame.

J.D. laughed, clapping his socked hands. "Look! Look! Uncle Chris is a big teddy bear!"

Sarah chuckled as she squeezed into the door frame with her husband and pulled him away from the frame. "Yea, he is a big teddy bear... who's gonna lose all the skin off his back if'n he does not stop itching!" She yanked on his shirt front, bringing his face close to hers, but stopping from actually touching skin to skin. "Be a good example." she ordered in a whisper.

"I am." Chris protested. "Showing the kids how to be a big, ol' bear."

"Old' being the word to note." Sarah huffed, shoving him back, and continuing into the front room. "Got a whole crate, Nathan." she informed the medic as she reached over his shoulder and dangled a bottle in front of him.

"Ah! Calamine lotion." Nathan exclaimed.

"Oh, thank you sweet Lord and our sweeter Sarah." Josiah breathed, accepting another bottle and a bag of cotton balls. "Relief at last!"

J.D. leaned forward and sniffed at the bottle that Nathan had just opened. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "It smells icky." he complained.

"Maybe... but it'll stop the itching." Nathan assured. He dipped a cotton ball, then held it up to try and dab some on J.D.'s neck.

But the five year old leaned away, frowning. "It's pink!" he accused.

Nathan chuckled. "And, in about two minutes, so will you."

"Uh-uh!" J.D. scrambled back over the back of the chair and away from the icky pink guck. "I ain't gonna be pink! No, sir! No way! I'm a boy! Only girls ware pink!"

Sarah paused in her passing out of medicine to look over her shoulder. "Is that so?" she wondered, her eye brows raised.

"Oh-oh." Vin ducked behind his father again.

"Nate." Sarah called softly, setting everything down and slowly turning to face the little boy.

"Yes, ma'am?" Nathan answered cautiously, easing back.

"That one..." She pointed at little J.D.

The five year old's eyes went big.

"Yes, ma'am?" Nathan backed further away.

"That one's mine!" Sarah hissed. Suddenly she was diving after the boy.

With a squeal, J.D. threw his socked hands up in the air, spun about and raced pass Chris and down the hall. Sarah was tight on his heals, giggling with mad glee.

Chris frowned as he watched his wife chase the boy. Then he turned back to the others in the room. "Um... Nathan?"

"Yea?"

"Any more of that calamine?" he wondered, as if nothing had happened.

Nathan jerked his head to where the calamine lotion and cotton balls had been abandoned by Sarah.

But before Chris could take one step after he was suddenly pushed back against the wall again, sending Vin diving out of the way again.

Buck hurried pass wearing only a towel around his waist. Practically jumping up and down, he demanded through clenched teeth "Calamine! Calamine!"

Josiah, Nathan, and Chris all pointed to the bottles.

Buck practically pounced on the supplies. Ripping off the top of the first bottle and throwing it over his shoulder, he ripped open a bag of cotton balls, sending them spewing out and across the room. Then he poured the pink medicine over the ball and down onto his hand, dripping down his wrist and down his arm. Almost as if attacking himself, he slapping the pink goo all over his chest, under his arms, down his legs, over his face, as far back on his back as he could reach, bending in all sorts of odd directions until, nearly standing on his head, he noticed everyone staring at him.

Slowly, he straightened himself. "What?" he wanted to know. "It itched!" he exclaimed as if that was all the explanation needed.

It was.

Chris held up a hand. "Calamine."

Buck tossed him a bottle before continuing his cover.

"Alrighty, Ez. Your turn, son." Josiah nudged Ezra up into a sitting position.

With an irritated sigh, the boy looked over at Vin. "Think I can out run him?"

Vin shrugged. "Maybe... but I bet Sarah could catch you."

As if in confirmation, a "Ha-ha!" came down the hall, followed by a high pitch squeal that ended in a giggled "Sarrrrrrrrrah!"

Ezra dropped his head in his hands and groaned. "How mortifying!"

Josiah chuckled, dabbing at the back of his neck. "Yes, it is. Welcome to family life, my wonderful son. It is mortifying." he confirmed.

Buck bounced in front of Chris, turning his back to him. "Do me! Do me!" he begged.

Chris stepped back. "No! Get away before I find a gun!" he snapped.

"You do me an' I'll do you?" his friend offered.

Chris stared at him, horrified. But, feeling the need to scrape his back across lots and lots of sharp nails was forming again, he sighed. "Cotton balls." He held a hand over Buck's shoulder and was given the requested item.

Nathan sat on the floor dabbing at his arms. "You know what I'd like to know?" he spoke up.

"Not really." Chris growled.

"What?" Buck countered.

"How come Josiah isn't itching?"

Everyone paused to look at Josiah.

The big man shrugged. "Well, brother Nathan, the answer to that is a simple one." He stopped talking.

The men waited for the answer...

And waited...

And wai...

"So? What is it already?" Buck cried.

Josiah grinned. "I have retired to my happy place."

"And old, scratchy, wool shirts." Ezra let them know.

His father wrapped an arm around the boy, dragged him back and ruffling his hair roughly. "Traitor!"

Instead of resisting, Ezra leaned into that old, scratchy, wool shirt and squirmed, scratching his back.

"Hey! Hey, hey!" Josiah protested. "That's what the calamine's for!"

Vin laughed.

"Okay." Buck interrupted, snatching at Vin's collar and turning him to face him. "You wanna know what I want to know?"

"How you got so ugly?" Vin returned, swatting his hand away.

"Ha!" Chris barked out a laugh.

Buck threw his friend a glare.

In turn, Chris frowned at his son. "Now, now, Vin... that wasn't nice." he said very seriously... then winked at the boy.

"WHAT I want to know..." Buck growled, "is why ain't Vin itching?"

And all eyes turned to the eight year old.

Vin shrugged. "I know what Poison Oak looks like."

The Result of Mischief The End


End file.
